Awkward Gym Moments

[thedude4bides]

i'd sit in the dry sauna or the steam one. every time, without fail, there's always some dude in there lurking and trolling.. you're sitting there on the bench, rolling solo, towel on (curse the guys who sit in there naked, jesus what is wrong with you?) and some small filipino man comes in there naked and sits next to you on the bench. i'm staring straight ahead, planning my exit and i can just feel this guy's eyes on me. sometimes i'd be like "why are you staring at me?" just totally put them on the spot and then they look away, awkwardly thinking "guess he doesnt want to hook up".. sometimes the guy tries to make broken english small talk.. like, dude are you kidding me? why are you talking to me right now?

other times you get the guys that sit in there for way too long, just pouring sweat and doing all this weird shit like methodically and aggressively wiping the sweat off their limbs, slapping themselves.. its disgusting. why can't they just sit there? people are disgusting, period. little gay filipino men that lurk in the sauna portion of el gay fitness are terrible. gym story? no. gym observations..

^LMAO! You ever get the guys that shave in there and discard of their whiskers on the floor?

I go LA Fitness now, and there is this dude whose NUTZ in the sauna. Buck nekkid. Constantly standing up and cracking his neck, rolling his shoulders, doing arm circles. He'll dump two bottles of water on the rocks and stand up and go "AWWWW WHAT A HEAD RUSH!!!!". Then he'll get on his hands and knees and start tinkering with crap under the rocks to get it hotter. Yep. Naked dude.

It's definitely worth watching. Watch the rated version before the unrated version though. It's one of my favorite comedies.

^ on the list.

I hate all the old man dong in the change rooms. When walking to and from the shower wear your god damn towel. I don't need to see your dick. Also when you're shaving or doing your hair wear a towel, this isn't your house.

^At the local gym in Newtown, PA there was this 70 year old dude, probably in better shape than me, that would always walk around with his towel over his shoulder. He had a HORSE COCK. I mean this thing was HUGE like a PYTHON. Put me to shame... I'd do the same if I were him. EVERYWHERE.:laugh:

this one guy at my gym tried to take a picture of this girl running in the treadmill, in there it was me, him, the girl and her boyfriend (at night when staff isn't there). when i was just done with my workout and about to leave her boyfriend saw the guy taking pictures of his gf as i was walking out. haven't seen the kid since or the couple

^I bet that didn't end well...

 

[Shini]

Yeah you guys with all these complaints about men showing off what God gave them...C'mon...I mean if they're not horse dicks then yeah put a towel on, but if your head meets your knee's, screw wearing a towel. I'd walk naked everywhere just because.

 

[rawbdog]

Yeah you guys with all these complaints about men showing off what God gave them...C'mon...I mean if they're not horse dicks then yeah put a towel on, but if your head meets your knee's, screw wearing a towel. I'd walk naked everywhere just because.

but like, that shit would get beat up if you walked around in your birtday suit everyday.

 

[JDM713]

but like, that shit would get beat up if you walked around in your birtday suit everyday.

more like arrested

 

[Lös Gehts]

Used to go to the community center to work out and afterwards I'd get in the whirlpool to soak my aches, anyway this old dude walks in rips off his shorts and stands in the whirlpool facing the jet and letting in fire straight on his crotch, turns 180 straight in his ass :moon:, turns again straight on his knob, I get the fuck out of there as fast as I could, never went back in there again, but everytime I'd walk by after a work out there he'd be doing the same thing. :barf:

 

[TRUboost]

I hate all the old man dong in the change rooms. When walking to and from the shower wear your god damn towel. I don't need to see your dick. Also when you're shaving or doing your hair wear a towel, this isn't your house.

Old dudes don't give a single shit lol.

There's a chick who comes to my gym all the time. She thinks she is the hottest piece of ass to roam this great planet. When in fact, she's 15-20 lbs overweight and her face looks like a train hit it.

Anyway, she was walking in the other day, head held high as shit in here three and a half sizes too small work out clothes A guy had been doing some squat thrusts and had left his 80lb curl bar thing in the middle of the walkway to get some water. Her being so high an mighty cant be bothered with looking at the ground so she catches that bitch mid stride and eats complete shit into a elliptical machine with her stupid dumb ugly face. She staggers to her feet and plays it off like she isn't the dumbest person ever.

I was on the other side of the gym drinkin some water myself when I saw this unfold play by play. Literally spit water maybe 20 feet all over a few treadmills. Epic.

 

[Lös Gehts]

Years ago I used to be an assistant instructor at a martial arts dojo, and I would lead the warm up exercises, there were about 12 people in the class and we were doing stride jumps when out of the corner of my eye i see something flying towards me, thinking my sensei is testing my reflexes I angle out of the way of the object, when I look down its a pair of rather large guys jockeys shorts. One of the guys runs up grabs them quick while turning beat red and says he just took his gi out of the dryer before coming to class and they must have been stuck inside the jacket . With a smile I asked if I was working the class to hard that people were jumping right out of the underware, the rest of the class broke out laughing.

 

[MBorVW]

Been there. I had been out with the lads the night before and had a skin full topped off with a curry. The next day the wife takes me out shopping. Got bubble guts real bad. So we are standing in the check out line. My stomach turns over and the fart feeling came. Thought I would squeeze out a silent one. So let that baby go. Didn't realize there was a little girl stood right behind me bent down looking at a toy on the shelf. I ripped that baby right in her face. It was like naiparm. I had to walk away and leave the wife standing there.

She was none to happy when she met me outside. She even told me that the little girl was almost sick and then was staring at my wife thinking that she let it go.

Not a gym story but thought I would share as the topic slid onto farts.

I'm dying here! We need fartz thread

 

[MBorVW]

just heard the gf fart for the first time over the weekend. i felt embarrassed for her because it just had no character. i told her next time to really let one rip so she could redeem herself.

My wife and I laughed till we cried the first time she ripped one in front of me like 12 yrs ago. It was one that went up in pitch. Baaaroooop!

 

[Rockchops]

When I wear my sexy shorts to the gym to impress all the dudez and noone comments on my bulge while squatting






















not true, think I would get beat up for that in the horribly uni gym I go to

 

[Gtigirl87]

Only awkward/embarrassing thing that I've had happen to me in the gym was stepping on to a treadmill that someone had left running and completely eating my shit. Wasn't paying attention, just jamming to my music and right when I'm about to step on I notice someone had left their MP3 player and headphones on it. Looked down and saw the track was moving right as my foot hit it... Boom! Went down hard. Luckily I turned and landed on my side instead of my face, but it launched me backwards into the face of this ledge where all the ellipticals are lol.

Lol nice!

 

[Adamse7en]

Oh, I was definitely Captain Morgan'ing it. Full show aimed at the door when he walked in.

No flossing though. It was more of a two handed shuffle. Think Bowling ball polishing.

I know I'm late to respond to this, but when you said bowling ball polishing, this is all I could think of. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=978uQUK231M

 

[Gtigirl87]

Old dudes don't give a single shit lol.

There's a chick who comes to my gym all the time. She thinks she is the hottest piece of ass to roam this great planet. When in fact, she's 15-20 lbs overweight and her face looks like a train hit it.

Anyway, she was walking in the other day, head held high as shit in here three and a half sizes too small work out clothes A guy had been doing some squat thrusts and had left his 80lb curl bar thing in the middle of the walkway to get some water. Her being so high an mighty cant be bothered with looking at the ground so she catches that bitch mid stride and eats complete shit into a elliptical machine with her stupid dumb ugly face. She staggers to her feet and plays it off like she isn't the dumbest person ever.

I was on the other side of the gym drinkin some water myself when I saw this unfold play by play. Literally spit water maybe 20 feet all over a few treadmills. Epic.

Karma

 

[lilfleck]

So, I just got to the gym and headed to the locker room. I found an empty locker and started changing. I hear the shower door open and this really old guy walks over in his birthday suit. It was my luck that his locker was two over... great. At this point, I'm moving quicker than before.

The old dude bends over to put on some shorts and his ass bumps me. I turned around and saw what had occurred. Horrified at what just happened, I looked at the old guy and yelled, "EXCUSE ME!!!!" He quickly apologized and moved outta the way.

Yeah, it wasn't cool. I was not a happy camper.

 

[Do Work Son]

No one's naked at my gym, the locker room is the size of a medium closet and the roof leaks. The male/female ratio is about 12/1. You go there to lift weights, not show off your wiener or meet women.

I'm still pretty out of shape but it's slowly coming back.