If I saw that, I would think its fake or a practical joke. If I thought it were real, I'd be like,
V
Awkward Gym Moments
- Thread starter grambles423
- Start date
If I saw that, I would think its fake or a practical joke. If I thought it were real, I'd be like,
Shini
Go Kart Champion
- Location
- Lubbock, TX
I don't know what I'd do if I ever saw that. More than likely stare for a bit in disbelief (on topic) but once done I would go do 20 reps on the military press machine and then 20 minutes of cardio while making farting sounds.
Gunkata
Drag Race Newbie
- Location
- Lombard, IL
Would anyone else grab a broom from the janitor's closet and start smacking it with primal jealousy? :iono:
Shini
Go Kart Champion
- Location
- Lubbock, TX
Maybe, if I knew where the closet was and knew for sure there was a broom
nik
Go Kart Champion
- Location
- Markham, Ontario
I'm trying to keep a straight face reading this thread in front of the parentz across the living room.
Well here goes my kick at the can
Few years ago I started going to the Y in my spare time after I moved out on my own. One day got onto an elliptical downstream from the AC vent and about 5 minutes in a relatively hefty dude (I'm no buff guy by any means) hops on further up stream from me...causing his nasty body aromas to waft my way from the AC. Let's just say I got a nasty taste in my mouth from that scent and haven't been in the gym since.
Y story 2: Buddy suggests going for a core workout class one day.. I thought what the hey... we end up in a class full of grannies...who schooled us while we were struggling :s.
Childhood scarring moment: Community center swim class..3 old asian men washing their junk at the showers..which you have to walk by to get to the pool from the change room..
Well here goes my kick at the can
Few years ago I started going to the Y in my spare time after I moved out on my own. One day got onto an elliptical downstream from the AC vent and about 5 minutes in a relatively hefty dude (I'm no buff guy by any means) hops on further up stream from me...causing his nasty body aromas to waft my way from the AC. Let's just say I got a nasty taste in my mouth from that scent and haven't been in the gym since.
Y story 2: Buddy suggests going for a core workout class one day.. I thought what the hey... we end up in a class full of grannies...who schooled us while we were struggling :s.
Childhood scarring moment: Community center swim class..3 old asian men washing their junk at the showers..which you have to walk by to get to the pool from the change room..
McQueen77
Banned
- Location
- Not Kentucky
thanks brah.
ive thought about doing a blog before where i just talk shit about everything, but that would require work and maintenance..
this is true
Last edited:
Rockchops
Go Kart Champion
- Location
- Philadelphia
^ I've thought the same, but more of an open forum sort of thing...tons of characters at the gym I go to. I used to have names for everyone.
Briefcase - dude who wasn't really all that big but walked around and puffed out like he was constantly carrying briefcases or luggage.
cornholio - wannbe guido, pretty much the archetype of my school's "bros". Practiced atrocious form, yet did every type of curl imaginable. One day he was looking somewhat sweaty and there were some girls around...he puts his shirt over his head cornholio style and starts talking about how hot it was in the gym (its temp controlled...). Lulz were uncontained.
lonestar - this is a tool who doesn't actually go to school, he's in the good-grace program with the local township that allows residents to come in and use the facilities (really nice gesture actually). This guy has a weed tattoo on his neck and constantly grunts while doing 1/8 ROM everything. He also raps to himself occasionally, which is great because the words get more and more strained as he gets to the top of his 1/8 rep. One day he was on incline bench and he was clearly doing too much weight. Rapping got louder and turned into straight up high-pitch grunts. Bar slowly starts to fall and he gives out. Couple of guys rush over to him and lift the bar off. Guy gets up and does one of those loosen-up-arm-shakes and raps off into the sunset mumbling something about not taking his protein (srs).
Brostache - this guy was jacked...I had a lot of respect for him actually, lifted a ton and looked great, way better than I've ever been. Anyways you know how some people seem to constantly have a 5 o clock shadow no matter how recently they've shaved? This guy had that but only as a 'stache. No beard or anything, just a secret mustache.
There were so many more I can't remember, mostly just guys who think they are way cool for going to the gym, with no attention to anything they actually do there. Lots of Beats by Dre headphones.
EDIT - I found a facebook "note" I wrote years ago with these characters in greater detail. Turns out briefcase was actually named suitcase. Whatever.
Suitcase - my first encounter with suitcase was when he decided to bench max out without a spotter. It was pretty obvious the guy wasn't going to hit 225 lbs in his physical condition...two onlookers had to run and help him get the bar up again. After stifling my laughter, I noticed he walked around like he owned the place. Nothing peeves me more than some dude trying to show off to other dudes how strong he is, and this guy hits the nail on the head. The name comes from him appearing to constantly carry large invisible suitcases, although if he were in fact handling luggage all day, he would not only be a gentleman, but a strong one at that. The most recent encounter with suitcase was him strolling around the gym again with those invisible suitcases with a towel tucked in (and sticking out of) his crotch. He deliberately walked all the way across the gym to access a drinking fountain that was identical to the one next to him. He looks like a keen salesman--I would buy that luggage any day.
Fauxbraux (or faux bro?) - This guy always sports a fauxhawk, although its difficult to tell whether he just woke up with bad bedhead. Never caught without a revealing wifebeater, this guy really likes to show off in the gym. I usually see him strolling around, so catching him actually performing any sort of physical activity is as likely as obtaining video footage of Humboldt Squid in a mating ritual (I've been watching too much of that series Life lately...). When he does in fact do exercises, he expertly employs a range of motion of about four inches. Convinced he is incredibly strong, fauxbraux likes to strap extra weight to himself to perform dips, although he only dips about an inch each time. I wish I could lock my elbows during dips and get away with it. He also looks around to make sure people are looking at him before he takes the weight off.
Lone Star - This guy is a true Maverick. Forget McCain and Palin, this guy goes out on a limb without the assistance of others to achieve the impossible. In fact, he often does way too much --far beyond what he is capable of, and expects to achieve it. My first experience with Lone Star was a lot like suitcase. He was on the decline bench and found the hard way that he was doing too much weight...after having the bar fall on his chest and swearing a couple times, two concerned gymgoers helped to lift it off of him. One offered to spot him, and he declined. What a bad ass! He proceeded to get up and walk around the gym like he owned the place (which is typically what he does) listening to gangsta rap.
ESTS girl - A new one, this girl wears extremely short track shorts...might as well call it a bikini bottom for all I know. She pretty much minds her own business and isn't a bother, but I see her a lot for some reason.
Flash - Now this girl is actually an issue. She is in really good shape (credit where its due) but she really likes to flaunt it. Like...really...really...likes to flaunt it. Perhaps the most accurate metaphor for the activity and positions that Flash uses is some sort of wild animal in heat. She wears "shorts" similar to those on ESTS girl, but doesn't just use the cardio equipment. Flash really enjoys pull-downs where you kneel on the ground and work your back. That's all good, but due to the short shorts and extreme slow-off-ness of Flash, she sticks her junk way in the air and assumes a doggy-style position, even when not performing the exercise. Now, let me describe the problem this poses for people like me who don't go to the gym to perv. I'm sitting at the curl bench (preacher bench) doing bi curls; situated in front of me is a large mirror. All I can see is this girl's cooch swinging around behind me. This makes me very uncomfortable. So, I look to the left, but there are girls trying to show off (admit it, girls...) on the ellipticals. Therefore my range of vision is reduced to a sliver of about twenty degrees to my right, which may be occupied by another person...who would then think I was staring.
Huck Finn - This guy wears shoes that look like they a-just been a-whitewarshed by Tom Sawyer himself! Never a speck of dirt! Seriously, that's commendable. Not so much his behavior and demeanor, however. Another dude who thinks he owns the gym by trying to make it appear he is lifting more than his body allows. Never caught without the cubic zirconium stud in his ear, his Kanji tattoo likely reads "girls dig me". I saw Huck Finn doing a bicep curl with the bench bar (45 lbs...) with two 5 pound weights on (sooo 55 lbs...) in the cage. To top it off, he had the back brace on in case that hefty 55 lbs really took its toll on his body. Hey, better to play safe than sorry, thats what mark twain always said.
Briefcase - dude who wasn't really all that big but walked around and puffed out like he was constantly carrying briefcases or luggage.
cornholio - wannbe guido, pretty much the archetype of my school's "bros". Practiced atrocious form, yet did every type of curl imaginable. One day he was looking somewhat sweaty and there were some girls around...he puts his shirt over his head cornholio style and starts talking about how hot it was in the gym (its temp controlled...). Lulz were uncontained.
lonestar - this is a tool who doesn't actually go to school, he's in the good-grace program with the local township that allows residents to come in and use the facilities (really nice gesture actually). This guy has a weed tattoo on his neck and constantly grunts while doing 1/8 ROM everything. He also raps to himself occasionally, which is great because the words get more and more strained as he gets to the top of his 1/8 rep. One day he was on incline bench and he was clearly doing too much weight. Rapping got louder and turned into straight up high-pitch grunts. Bar slowly starts to fall and he gives out. Couple of guys rush over to him and lift the bar off. Guy gets up and does one of those loosen-up-arm-shakes and raps off into the sunset mumbling something about not taking his protein (srs).
Brostache - this guy was jacked...I had a lot of respect for him actually, lifted a ton and looked great, way better than I've ever been. Anyways you know how some people seem to constantly have a 5 o clock shadow no matter how recently they've shaved? This guy had that but only as a 'stache. No beard or anything, just a secret mustache.
There were so many more I can't remember, mostly just guys who think they are way cool for going to the gym, with no attention to anything they actually do there. Lots of Beats by Dre headphones.
EDIT - I found a facebook "note" I wrote years ago with these characters in greater detail. Turns out briefcase was actually named suitcase. Whatever.
Suitcase - my first encounter with suitcase was when he decided to bench max out without a spotter. It was pretty obvious the guy wasn't going to hit 225 lbs in his physical condition...two onlookers had to run and help him get the bar up again. After stifling my laughter, I noticed he walked around like he owned the place. Nothing peeves me more than some dude trying to show off to other dudes how strong he is, and this guy hits the nail on the head. The name comes from him appearing to constantly carry large invisible suitcases, although if he were in fact handling luggage all day, he would not only be a gentleman, but a strong one at that. The most recent encounter with suitcase was him strolling around the gym again with those invisible suitcases with a towel tucked in (and sticking out of) his crotch. He deliberately walked all the way across the gym to access a drinking fountain that was identical to the one next to him. He looks like a keen salesman--I would buy that luggage any day.
Fauxbraux (or faux bro?) - This guy always sports a fauxhawk, although its difficult to tell whether he just woke up with bad bedhead. Never caught without a revealing wifebeater, this guy really likes to show off in the gym. I usually see him strolling around, so catching him actually performing any sort of physical activity is as likely as obtaining video footage of Humboldt Squid in a mating ritual (I've been watching too much of that series Life lately...). When he does in fact do exercises, he expertly employs a range of motion of about four inches. Convinced he is incredibly strong, fauxbraux likes to strap extra weight to himself to perform dips, although he only dips about an inch each time. I wish I could lock my elbows during dips and get away with it. He also looks around to make sure people are looking at him before he takes the weight off.
Lone Star - This guy is a true Maverick. Forget McCain and Palin, this guy goes out on a limb without the assistance of others to achieve the impossible. In fact, he often does way too much --far beyond what he is capable of, and expects to achieve it. My first experience with Lone Star was a lot like suitcase. He was on the decline bench and found the hard way that he was doing too much weight...after having the bar fall on his chest and swearing a couple times, two concerned gymgoers helped to lift it off of him. One offered to spot him, and he declined. What a bad ass! He proceeded to get up and walk around the gym like he owned the place (which is typically what he does) listening to gangsta rap.
ESTS girl - A new one, this girl wears extremely short track shorts...might as well call it a bikini bottom for all I know. She pretty much minds her own business and isn't a bother, but I see her a lot for some reason.
Flash - Now this girl is actually an issue. She is in really good shape (credit where its due) but she really likes to flaunt it. Like...really...really...likes to flaunt it. Perhaps the most accurate metaphor for the activity and positions that Flash uses is some sort of wild animal in heat. She wears "shorts" similar to those on ESTS girl, but doesn't just use the cardio equipment. Flash really enjoys pull-downs where you kneel on the ground and work your back. That's all good, but due to the short shorts and extreme slow-off-ness of Flash, she sticks her junk way in the air and assumes a doggy-style position, even when not performing the exercise. Now, let me describe the problem this poses for people like me who don't go to the gym to perv. I'm sitting at the curl bench (preacher bench) doing bi curls; situated in front of me is a large mirror. All I can see is this girl's cooch swinging around behind me. This makes me very uncomfortable. So, I look to the left, but there are girls trying to show off (admit it, girls...) on the ellipticals. Therefore my range of vision is reduced to a sliver of about twenty degrees to my right, which may be occupied by another person...who would then think I was staring.
Huck Finn - This guy wears shoes that look like they a-just been a-whitewarshed by Tom Sawyer himself! Never a speck of dirt! Seriously, that's commendable. Not so much his behavior and demeanor, however. Another dude who thinks he owns the gym by trying to make it appear he is lifting more than his body allows. Never caught without the cubic zirconium stud in his ear, his Kanji tattoo likely reads "girls dig me". I saw Huck Finn doing a bicep curl with the bench bar (45 lbs...) with two 5 pound weights on (sooo 55 lbs...) in the cage. To top it off, he had the back brace on in case that hefty 55 lbs really took its toll on his body. Hey, better to play safe than sorry, thats what mark twain always said.
Last edited: