There are those who say the latest version recaptures the magic of the 1976 original, but that’s not true. It’s twice as heavy and twice as luxurious, for a kick-off. It even has power steering, for heaven’s sake. But what it does do, once again, is capture the mood of the moment perfectly.
Let’s be honest, your enormous off-roader may make you feel like the king of the road, but it is hard to park, and you do spend an awful lot of time filling it up with fuel at £70 a pop. And do you need all that space? Really? Because the Golf has five seats as well, you know, which is just as many as you have in your Range Rover or BMW X5.
Then there’s this bothersome footballing business. It may be acceptable for some 20-year-old thicko on £70,000 a week to run around in something vulgar and ostentatious, but do you want people to think you’re Rio Ferdinand? So why have that Bentley Continental then? Because it’s fast? Okay, well I’ll make a bet. You can choose any route, anywhere in Britain, and I’ll cover it at least as quickly in a GTI. I’ll have more fun, too.
And here’s the rub. The Guardian may like us to believe that Britain is completely gridlocked, but it’s not. If I were to leave my house right now I could be doing 100mph in as long as it takes the car to accelerate to that speed.
I am surrounded by hundreds of miles of road that have never seen a traffic jam; roads that are unpoliced and miles from children playing ball. It’s the stuff of car ads round here. It’s wonderful.
Sure, you occasionally encounter a Rover with a Christian fish on the back, doing 16mph, and this is where the torque of the new GTI’s 2 litre engine comes in. You don’t even need to drop out of sixth. Such is the grunt that if you put your foot down the little car can be past the Christian on even the shortest straight.
Then you have the bends. Maybe when it’s greasy there isn’t as much grip from the driven front wheels as you’d expect, but you really have to be flying to notice. And when you are flying, being hugged by quite the most exquisite seats I’ve ever found in a car, you’re having too much fun to care. As a driver’s car, then, the new GTI is just fantastic.
Then you’re in London, where it’s small enough to fit in even the tightest of Soho’s multi-storey car parks. Then you’re on the motorway, where it’s quiet and refined. And then you’re in a jam watching the television, or making calls on the hands-free. And then you’re at the supermarket with the rear seats folded down, jamming a Christmas tree in the back. And then you’re in an accident with airbags leaping out of every flat surface.
As is the way with the old Golf, this new one is never caught out socially, or on the road. It works outside the best restaurant in town and it works when it’s minus seven. It works if you’re a Guardian reader and it works if you take The Times. It’s not chav. It’s not bling. And with prices starting at less than £20,000 it’s not that expensive, either.
It’s hard, really, to think of any car that does anything like as much, anything like as well.
Vital statistics
Model Volkswagen Golf GTI
Engine type Four-cylinder, 1984cc turbo
Power 197bhp @ 5100rpm
Torque 207 lb ft @ 1800rpm
Transmission Six-speed manual front-wheel drive
Fuel 35.3mpg (combined)
CO2 192g/km
Acceleration 0-62mph: 6.9sec
Top speed 145mph
Price £19,995
Rating 4/5
Verdict Simply the most complete car on the road