To move or not to move?

[D Griff]

I'm 25 and other than a couple months on two occasions I've been out of the parent's house for seven years. I moved back to NC and lived there while I found a nice place and saved money for a few months, then again after I broke up with a girl I lived with, just until I found a new place.

I love my parents but I think living with them as an adult is kind of a drag. You can't take saved money with you. I've had a bit of CC debt here and there, had the car loan, have student loans (I've paid off a little over half of the $30k) and life goes on. I'm getting everything paid off, I have a blast all the time and put money in my retirement and savings.

 

[nuggstein]

So I spoke to her last night over Skype. I told her congratulations on getting approved for the lease, and that I was happy for her. Then I asked if I could voice my opinion on the matter. She said okay.

I told her how I felt, how she just got this job in April, how she won't be saving money. She said she's been spoken to about this for an entire year (I'm assuming by her parents). She's been dealing with this 5-6 hour daily commute for 4 years now, because she commuted to college in NYC as well.

I completely understand her from her point of view, she has no life outside of work except on weekends. She started crying when I brought it up. She told me she was going to ask me to go to the lease signing with her, but then made it seem like not anymore. So I told her, look, I will be there, I will support you with your decision, I just wanted to let you know how I feel.

I said I love you...was praying she was going to say it back. She did, and we ended it the Skype conversation.

Then I just texted her again before we went to sleep, letting her know I love her and that I will be there on Thursday. I said I love you one more time, and she said it back.

Saw her this morning, and everything was okay. At least I got what I wanted to say out of my system.

 

[lilfleck]

Word, sounds good. So she's moving and your co-signing?

 

[nuggstein]

Word, sounds good. So she's moving and your co-signing?

Hell no! She just wants me there.

 

[Tk_mkv1]

Nope... Moved out when 18 and have worked/paid for everything since!



I find it odd for a man to stay at home age 22+. I only notice that trend in the Hispanic community.

Yes, That why Latin people are much closer to their family, and that's a beautiful thing.

same with my family traditions as well, I come from a turkish family and since i was practically raised there until 11 y/o, i don't really feel the rush of moving out, but i will certainly be moving out until say 27-28 (at latest) when ill have great amount of money by that time. many friends i know back home don't move out until they get married, my uncle got married at 34 and he lived with his parents until then (they were also restoring their apartment they're moving into).



I'm 23 at this point and due to current financial situation i just can't justify buying a place yet when i have to spend my money just for that, when i can travel enjoy my life, etc. I'm still in college and prob gonna finish in a year or 2 due to major changes and couple set backs, and work 30 hrs a week for past 2 years, this fall I'm gonna drop my hours as i just got payment increase so i can wrap it up with school. i already have a good paying job that can keep working till i get my permanent career until retirement.

Edit: married at 29, not 34, mixed w his age now

 

[Plinyyounger]

Both of you need to gets better jobs and move out of your parents homes! Time to become grown ups!

Kidding, sort of. Get out in the world, but communication between you two will determine the future. You seem bright and appear to be looking at the big picture. However, freedom means a lot! Good luck.

 

[mk6medic]

Nuggy.... why don't you just move in with her?

 

[Bozz]

I think it's the new norm for people ages 22-26 to live at home unless their parents want them out, to be completely honest. Anyone else here my age, please correct me if I'm wrong.

1. That's a terrible commentary on today's society. (it may be the "new norm" but it is far from normal in a civil society)

2. Women and money? 90% of them do not manage it in the same manner as we fellas do. It's just the way they are. If you dwell on it too much, it will interfere with what's really important. She should move, her commute is too long.

 

[nuggstein]

Nuggy.... why don't you just move in with her?

Only nearing 7 months officially. Unofficially, 8.

1. That's a terrible commentary on today's society. (it may be the "new norm" but it is far from normal in a civil society)

2. Women and money? 90% of them do not manage it in the same manner as we fellas do. It's just the way they are. If you dwell on it too much, it will interfere with what's really important. She should move, her commute is too long.

Sexist much?

 

[Bender1]

2. Women and money? 90% of them do not manage it in the same manner as we fellas do. It's just the way they are. If you dwell on it too much, it will interfere with what's really important.

Ummm wow.

 

[lilfleck]

So what is she going to do??

 

[nuggstein]

So what is she going to do??

I believe I am meeting her after work today, to go with her for the ceremonial lease signing. I have to support her.

 

[nouse4aname]

I would not live/work in NYC for 45k. With a cost of living adjustment that's not much more than minimum wage here.

I can see living with your parents longer being more the norm in high cost of living areas. But that's the reality you have to face. Your parents are living there after having established themselves and being able to afford it. A recent college grad likely has to go somewhere else to establish themselves first.

 

[nuggstein]

I would not live/work in NYC for 45k. With a cost of living adjustment that's not much more than minimum wage here.

I can see living with your parents longer being more the norm in high cost of living areas. But that's the reality you have to face. Your parents are living there after having established themselves and being able to afford it. A recent college grad likely has to go somewhere else to establish themselves first.

She'll probably make between 50-60k. But you have to understand her perspective too. Someone can only handle so much stress of losing 6 hours of your life from just commuting for the past 4 years.

 

[nuggstein]

I am just freaking out and have been having anxiety for a bit since this started to come into fruition.