POLL: Kids - want them or not??

[Gunkata]

indeed^, good points.

 

[D Griff]

My mom has also told me stuff similar to GK's feelings. Even though you try to feel the same way about all the kids, it's hard to.

But I think if you only had the stepchild, it might be a little bit easier.

 

[GTIMKV20]

My wife is due in 2 days... so I voted yes, lol

I too didn't want them when I was younger but then something changed for me in my late 20's, early 30's. You hit a stage where you are comfortable and want to enrich the lives of a child you bring into the world. And there are so many kids that drive me insane primarily because their parents suck/are insanely ignorant, I had to add a decent one to the pool. :lol:

 

[Gunkata]

My mom has also told me stuff similar to GK's feelings. Even though you try to feel the same way about all the kids, it's hard to.

But I think if you only had the stepchild, it might be a little bit easier.

exactly.

if you only have adopted or step, you wont know any difference. But once you add in the bio, it becomes apparent.. I work very hard to try and do my best NOT to differentiate between them/treat them any differently, and of course my wife - to her, they are all her bio kids, lol.

 

[McQueen77]

You're just high on oxytocin is the only thing that changed.

]

Nah, actually what I said is spot on. Tons of people, myself included, who don't have kids have said all the same things you have. You're not saying anything groundbreaking or eye opening. If you don't want a kid, fine, I don't care if people have them or not and for the sake of overpopulation and limited resources, I think people need to think long and hard about having more than x amount of kids. I also think a large % of people who have kids are thoughtless, mouth breathing moronic trolls who have no business having them who will no doubt raise more non-contributing zeros justvlike themselves. I would never tell anyone they should have kids because its a huge life changing decision.

But, I also think, while you make valid arguments, the thing you forgot to mention is this:

You don't have kids yet becuse you don't want to deal with the fucking hassle. At least admit that. It boils down to you ultimately not wanting to give up YOUR time for someone else on that level. Kids are a time and money drain to the Nth degree and you don't want to deal.

 

[D Griff]

exactly.

if you only have adopted or step, you wont know any difference. But once you add in the bio, it becomes apparent.. I work very hard to try and do my best NOT to differentiate between them/treat them any differently, and of course my wife - to her, they are all her bio kids, lol.

SOunds like you're a good dad man, all you can do is your best :w00t:

 

[nouse4aname]

Just take an oxytocin supplement around your step kids and you'll have the same feelings.

 

[thedude4bides]

The "goal of starting a family" is the objective, not the motivation, however.

Hey, if you and your other *want* kids and can provide for them, it's all good. The motivation for that decision is secondary, IMO.

My point remains the same. The motivation could be creating a legacy for yourself or maybe you just have the belief that the point of life is to grow up and start a family because that's what your parents taught you... either way it's much worse to have kids to fill an emotional void than either of those.

 

[Rockchops]

I never actually voiced my "why" yet so here goes.

I do not enjoy kids, I really do not get much out of them except annoyance. I'm with some of the other folks on here who talk about instantly having nerves struck whenever kids are around. Also, I did get myself into a lot of trouble (mostly injuring myself in various clumsy ways) and caused my parents a lot of headaches. Years down the road now its all laughable, but I definitely made them shit their pants more than once and especially with my mom, unnecessarily placed a ton of stress on them. I am not sure if this opinion is a function of my age (25) or not -- I suppose it is subject to change. Right now my neighbor is loudly poo-pooing her baby daughter outside to no end and its driving me nuts.

If somehow I have a kid, I do have a stable job and whatnot, and my dad is the biggest role model in my life. I wouldn't mind being another version of my dad (hell, I look exactly like him anyways) and I'm confident I'd be able to do a pretty good job. I've been with my gf for 7-8 years now and we'd probably do alright, and both of us have supporting families as well. She has a very strong gene in her family that makes her very likely to have twins though, so there's that to think about in my case too.

Neighbor's baby didn't like the poo-pooing baby talk and started screaming just now. Nothing like that to confirm my opinion for a bit.

 

[Gunkata]

Twins are brutal.

 

[Merkle]

it's just different.. even though I didn't want it to be/ was hoping it wouldn't be.

I've been with the twins I adopted since they were about 3 - well, met them then, they moved in with me shortly after turning 5, iirc. They are now 9. I definitely notice that I will have less patience with them on things (perhaps also due to their age currently) than with the bio baby that I have now, that is just over 16months old. I also feel different, in a "natural sense", as far as when I see her, hold her, etc.. she looks like me big time too, of course, lol, so that is probably a big part of it.. but also, you can smell her hair or skin, and it feels very natural.. if I were to do that with the older kids, it may not feel the same.

again.. not what I wanted/hoped, but def some differences in the two.

Interesting how our natural biological instincts take over. That may be what I face one day, Jess said she doesn't want another kid, but as we all know, things happen. I guess it's important to recognize this and do your best to counteract it.

Twin boys?

Good luck man, lol.

 

[Gunkata]

nope, one boy, one girl... still crazy as fuck.

 

[Merkle]

nope, one boy, one girl... still crazy as fuck.

I need to stalk your mybook page harder then.

 

[Gunkata]

perhaps.. most of the pics are of the baby.....

 

[Merkle]

perhaps.. most of the pics are of the baby.....

I thought you looked awfully young in that profile pic...

...and I thought you had less hair.