POLL: Kids - want them or not??

[Gunkata]

I would seek counseling, at least for you, if not marital, and then go from there. Having a child with this woman could turn out to be a horrendous idea.. parenting issues, divorce, child support ($$$), drama there/with visitation, and so on...

 

[mugsy]

Unnecessary risk when there are plenty of adoptable kids out there before you go make your own. Very selfish thing to do. It's kind of like buying from a puppy mill vs rescue.

Very true.

 

[MBorVW]

Very true.

Adoption is fine and very honorable, however, like it or not, kids are the genetic spawn of their parents. There is no telling what awful personality traits that the kids could've received from their parents. Yes it sounds crazy and shallow but there are some things that are passed on...such as severe mental illness in some cases.

There is NOTHING like having your own children if you are fortunate enough to be able to procreate. My sons look like my wife and I and display both our good and not so good personality traits but it's truly amazing to see these little humans that we've created and to help them become great people. You can do that with adoption too but there is just something about having "mini me's" running around. :thumbsup:

 

[MBorVW]

Again I'm in no way dissing adoption but the comment indicating that we should all adopt rather than have our own children just struck a nerve man... Kids are not pound puppies, comparing the two tells me that you are probably in that early to mid 20 range and haven't really thought about having kids yet. Countless people go through that. I always wanted kids, always. I know tons of people that didn't realize they wanted kids until they were near or beyond age 30. Your mind changes as your life does.

 

[nouse4aname]

Nope closer to 40 than 30 and already got the vasectomy...

 

[mugsy]

... Kids are not pound puppies, comparing the two tells me that you are probably in that early to mid 20 range and haven't really thought about having kids yet...

Son, I know I don't deserve your insult.

I know tons of people that didn't realize they wanted kids until they were near or beyond age 30....

Reminds me of the rationale: "Eat $%!t, trillions of flies can't be wrong!"

...Your mind changes as your life does.

Thanks for the condescending words of advice but I will correct your assertion as to how my mind has changed versus how my life has changed:

I've always felt that people bringing children into this life and death was, in general, wrong, ALWAYS.....

A lot of your words aimed at me seem like you should be looking in the mirror and speaking to yourself.

Oh yeah btw, I adopted a one year old girl, raised her well. I taught her to talk, to walk, to ride a bike, to drive a car (with manual trans), to have manners and class, to have healthy habits and much more. I have protected and loved her for 26 years and counting, son. Been there and done that.

 

[socal87]

Son, I know I don't deserve your insult.



Reminds me of the rationale: "Eat $%!t, trillions of flies can't be wrong!"



Thanks for the condescending words of advice but I will correct your assertion as to how my mind has changed versus how my life has changed:

I've always felt that people bringing children into this life and death was, in general, wrong, ALWAYS.....

A lot of your words aimed at me seem like you should be looking in the mirror and speaking to yourself.

Oh yeah btw, I adopted a one year old girl, raised her well. I taught her to talk, to walk, to ride a bike, to drive a car (with manual trans), to have manners and class, to have healthy habits and much more. I have protected and loved her for 26 years and counting, son. Been there and done that.

DAYYYYYUUUUUUUMMMMM...

He just told you to GTFO his lawn!

Inspiring, though. I agree, a child's personality and demeanor reflect their parents and their upbringing, regardless of their genetic ancestors. I don't think it matters much who your biological parents are...all that means for you is you inherit their physical attributes (appearance, medical history, etc). Your personality is developed as you grow up, and HOW you grow up directly impacts that.

 

[Gunkata]

no^. there's a lot of things that are genetic like mental illness, and there are a lot of innate things in/about people. Parenting is super important, no doubt, but it is not the end all be all to how a person behaves.

 

[MBorVW]

Guess I struck a nerve but didn't mean to. Read what I said again. It wasn't meant to be offensive at all. If I or my wife couldn't have kids we would've adopted. I was mad at the pound puppy rationale of an earlier poster...

 

[MBorVW]

no^. there's a lot of things that are genetic like mental illness, and there are a lot of innate things in/about people. Parenting is super important, no doubt, but it is not the end all be all to how a person behaves.

This! Mental illness can definitely be hereditary. As always GK gets me

 

[McQueen77]

Adoption is fine and very honorable, however, like it or not, kids are the genetic spawn of their parents. There is no telling what awful personality traits that the kids could've received from their parents. Yes it sounds crazy and shallow but there are some things that are passed on...such as severe mental illness in some cases.

There is NOTHING like having your own children if you are fortunate enough to be able to procreate. My sons look like my wife and I and display both our good and not so good personality traits but it's truly amazing to see these little humans that we've created and to help them become great people. You can do that with adoption too but there is just something about having "mini me's" running around. :thumbsup:

Word

 

[socal87]

This! Mental illness can definitely be hereditary. As always GK gets me

Mental illness can be a physiological medical condition...but it can also be a result of environment and influences.

 

[ehancock]

My wife will read this since she's in here lol. I really want kids but I'm super paranoid they won't be healthy. I wish there was a way they can test me to see if I can produce healthy offspring lol

 

[mk6medic]

Whoa. When the shit goes down you better be ready.

 

[GTIJenn1]

My wife will read this since she's in here lol. I really want kids but I'm super paranoid they won't be healthy. I wish there was a way they can test me to see if I can produce healthy offspring lol

She'll understand. That is a very normal concern. If you have family histories of certain genetic diseases, you (both of you) can be genetically screened even before you conceive. Test results are 100% definite but decently accurate as to the chances of having offspring with certain diseases, etc. And of course there are tests during gestation that can give a much more accurate result...but then comes the moral issues with that also. Give and take.

My primary studies in undergrad were everything to do with babies and the human body. From conception to inheritance to complete development and immunity. I love all of it! It's so much easier to keep children healthy and also to manage genetic disorders if it comes down to that. Don't let that scare you!