Considering proposing to my girlfriend, seeking advice

[grambles423]

Though this may sound like a great option, most women are more romantic than this. Personally, an engagement only serves two purposes: to have time to plan a wedding (which is a big one for girls), and in the mean time, to make your intentions known that you're committed to that other person for the long haul.

Weddings and engagements aren't typically for the guy. They're for the girl so don't ruin the dreams she's had since she was a little girl just because you're too lazy or don't want to put in the extra effort and/or cash to do so.

And engagement is still an important part of the process. Don't skip it.

This'th.

I wanted to elope and my wife was 100% on board, until she really thought about wanting her dad to walk her down the aisle.

It is NEVER about the groom. Ever. Even after you're married

 

[nouse4aname]

Here you go, get a Diamondique ring around $70. No one can tell a damn difference without getting out a magnifying glass.
http://www.qvc.com/Rings-Jewelry.ca...ory-_-Rings&previousRefine=1046658+4294940782

 

[McQueen77]

I've been busy all damn day putting together presentations and studying for a couple finals next week so I haven't had much time to thoroughly read everyone's replies.

But I just wanna clarify I don't get loaded or party. I meant that when I was a kid, from high school to early twenties, that's when I did a lot of partying. I go to class and that's pretty much all I do. Which is ok with me. I'm thankful that I can actually leave the house and have the opportunity to focus on my education. Initially after my surgery I had to wear a back brace and spend most of my day in bed.

And as far as going back to work, I can not for a couple reasons; doctor says I can't list more than ten pounds or bend over, twist etc. I'm a mess. I had an operation to my lumbar spine that has like 20 syllables in title. I'm doped up on norco and some muscle relaxers to control cramps and spasms.

I've been working blue collar BS jobs since high school and have no formal training, so there isn't anything I can do that will pay me the same wage I made before my injury. The only option I have is to continue my education and get into a nice white collar STEM related field. I'm kicking ass in all my classes so I might as well proceed.

I'm appreciating all the advice. I'll read them all more thoroughly and reply to them tomorrow.

oh ok, sorry. In that case, it sounds like you are on the right track. If everything is going well, I'd try and hold off for a little while.

 

[XGC75]

Honestly my wife and I appreciated the wedding fanfare, but it's not that important in the long run. What one day is? See if she's into that sort of thing. If she's not, spend the extra dough on a nice bed for the two of you.

 

[McQueen77]

We were originally going to do like a getaway thing, just the two of us and then have a big party and invite family and friends, later on. My wife's sister did this and they had a great experience. Went and got married in Hawaii or something and then had a party in New Orleans where they live. We ended up doing a wedding but it wasn't too crazy $$ wise mainly because we kept the guest list to close friends and family. It was a good time and we're glad we did it but there is no need to go balls out and spend 10s of thousands on 1 day.

 

[clownish]

OP, same question as you (when to propose/$$$), different circumstances. Been dating her for 5 years now, time to get serious or drop the whole thing. (and spend it all on car? Seems like a good idea...) Will probably just shoot for that middle of the road 1c and as small of a wedding as possible. Relatives alone though could end up being at a buck twenty at least.

Best of luck!

 

[GTIJenn1]

We were originally going to do like a getaway thing, just the two of us and then have a big party and invite family and friends, later on. My wife's sister did this and they had a great experience. Went and got married in Hawaii or something and then had a party in New Orleans where they live. We ended up doing a wedding but it wasn't too crazy $$ wise mainly because we kept the guest list to close friends and family. It was a good time and we're glad we did it but there is no need to go balls out and spend 10s of thousands on 1 day.

This. It's just one day. Wedding's don't have to be over the top extravagant. Again, that kind of thing doesn't make the marriage. Nor does a giant ring.

 

[fr4c]

Personally I would use the money to finish your college education and get that degree. Don't graduate out of college with a loan/debt because no one can guarantee you'll get a job even after you graduate.

I know you guys have been dating for a while, but don't let that pressure you into doing something that you are not financially prepared for at this time. If she's really the one, I highly doubt waiting a bit until you both are financially stable will make much of a difference.

 

[nouse4aname]

Yeah getting a return on a college education is far from a guarantee anymore these days. Way to do it is to get a job that reimburses tuition.