It sucks that the dog died, but put yourself in the police officer's shoes for a second. If there is a dog that big charging you, you don't really have time to do anything different. Just bad luck on everyone's part.
This part really got me.
"Unless, of course I am at home, then what the hell, I let it rip and see what happens. New underwear are only like 5 feet away, so lets see what happens, life is a journey."
Close. But I personally think this one wins.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJdF8DJ70Dc
This one's good too.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VGDwScgb_Y0