What can I do now?

I cleaned it off (assuming it was bird poop, though it was dark orange colored) as soon as I saw them (one on the hood one on the fender) so they couldn't have sat there for any longer than 8 hours. Yet this is what's left and I can't get it off no matter what, I tried everything, AIO, SSR medium, rubbing compound, P21S carnauba wax, then I tried some all purpose cleaner, some rubbing alcohol then even some dawn, nothing worked. It's not even a little bit better.

I haven't even gotten my plates yet for crying out loud, what the hell happened?

PS my mouth is still wide open due to disbelief. The worse I've gotten EVER on another car was a circle of tiny dots where the paint was completely "eaten" to the metal, very small dots though so I couldn't even tell unless I stuffed my face into the spot, and that bird poop stayed on the car for more than 2 weeks!

Is there anything that can get rid of this? Or am I screwed?

Is this sitting on the paint or has it eaten thru to the primer/metal??

You might need to try some more agressive rubbing compounds. I'd head over to www.autopia.org and seek professional advice over there.. There's plenty of guys who detail for a living over there, so they should have answers and solutions...

toxic bird shit in the bay area... take to detailing shop.

Same thing happened to a Honda CR-V I had, toxic birds in Texas apparently. But it had cracked the paint and finish, destroyed the metallic look in two places. Dealer said the only fix was a repainting of the roof, not spot fixing, due to the metallic finish. Hope you find a cheaper/easier solution, mate.

It's hard to tell exactly what it is with the flourescent light overlapping it a bit, but...

1-I think heading over to autopia is a good idea. There are a lot of guys over there who put many a professional detailer to shame. Just make sure you get some more pictures.

2-I would not starting hitting this with more polishes/rubbing compounds. If you are not well versed in the use of these things and how to take their effects out of the surrounding paint in a stepwise fashion stop now. Back away from the radial buffing tools and 3M products and seek professional help.

3-Seek a well known, and recommended local detailer to check it out in person.

IF you take some more pictures I can try to help you out "remotely" but I think based on what you have done so far, you are gona need a local pro to help you out of this one.